Can you imagine the frustration of a victim being asked, “Why don’t you just leave?”
While leaving seems like a quick and easy fix to escape abuse, we know that leaving an abusive partner is a complicated, difficult challenge and often the most dangerous time in a relationship. Victims have many reasons for staying. Last week Safehope shared part 1 of our 5 part series 50 Obstacles to Leaving: 1-10
Follow along on this week blog as we discuss 10 different obstacles to leaving an abusive relationship.
11. Family Pressure: Family members exert pressure if they believe there’s no excuse for leaving a marriage or if they’re in denial about the abuse.
12. Fear of Retaliation: The batterer has shown willingness to carry out threats and the victim fears harm to themselves or the children if they leave.
13. Fear of Losing Child Custody: The batterer has used the threat of obtaining custody to exact agreements to their liking.
14. Financial Abuse: Financial abuse can take many different forms depending on the couple’s socio-economic status — ex. If victims have been forced to sign false tax returns or take part in other unlawful financial transactions.
15. Financial Despair: The victim realizes that they cannot provide for themselves or their children without the batterer’s assistance.
16. Gratitude: The victim feels gratitude toward the batterer because the batterer has helped support and raise their children from a previous relationship, or take care of them if they have health, medical or other problems.
17. Guilt: Batterers have convinced victims that the violence is happening because it’s their fault.
18. Homelessness: Homeless abuse victims face increased danger, as they must find ways of meeting basic survival needs of shelter, food, and clothing while attempting to elude their batterers.
19. Hope for the Violence to Cease: This hope is typically fueled by the batterer’s promises of change, pleas from the children, or family’s advice to save the relationship.
20. Isolation: The victim has been cut off from family, friends and colleagues and lacks a support system or people to stay with.
If your loved one is experiencing abuse, Safehope can help. Whether you need support, information or assistance with creating a safety plan, call 316-283-0350